deal with it
These days, I'm quite tired out about some stuffs. Workpiles basically, and my stupid idiotic thoughts and dreams. For I don't know what reasons, I always end up with weird dreams at least once in a few days.
And also, things haven't been working out. Gets easily stressed out when things just don't go the right way, or when people just cancel off last minute things. I mean, everyone does that, so I should probably learn to be okay with it. I sometimes do that too and that's just how we imperfect people are like. Tend to not keep our word and agreements.
And there's that other thing, I suppose whatever happens, I'll find a way to take it down, to weather that period, no matter what happens with God. With my Saviour, with my dear Lord. Sometimes I get broken, and only Your power can revive me and mend me. Anyone else just isn't strong enough.
-Come what may, I'll be faithful and fearless, all in Your name.
As much as it hurts.
a worship song
To The Ends Of The Earth - Hillsong
Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all you areAnd I would give the world to tell you're story
'Cause I know that you've called me
I know that you've called me
I've lost myself for good within your promise
And I won't hide it
I won't hide it
Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go, to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you alone are the son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God
Saving Grace
Saving Grace - Hillsong United
Night and day I seek Your face
Long for You in the secret place
All I want in this life
Is to truly know you more...
As the waters cover the sea,
So Your love covers me
Guiding me on,
Roads unknown
I trust in You alone
My Saving Grace
My endless love
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with You
My one desire
My only truth
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with you
As the waters cover the sea,
So Your love covers me
Guiding me on,
Roads unknown
I trust in You alone
My Saving Grace
My endless love
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with You
My one desire
My only truth
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with you
And I will rise on wings of eagles
Soaring high above all my fears
I rest in Your open arms of love
My Saving Grace
My endless love
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with You
My one desire
My only truth
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with you
thank the Lord
dear Lord, I wanna thank You today, for I think You used me to make a difference in the life of another of Your beloved child. When I see this child of Yours close her eyes and pray to You, after I think a very long time of not talking to You (assumption) that feeling is simply joy. I'm really glad for her, that she is re-aligning herself with You.
Lord, You are good, You are God. And I thank God that that You're my God, our God. Although I'm really stressed these few days, I'll overcome it with You.
tomorrow
Tomorrow, Lord, let Your work be done in me.
I want to make a difference.
oh dear
oh gosh. I'm going a little nuts. About this and that, studies, CCA and much. Getting really tired! It's evident today, ran a bit and I was panting. Really feel like sleeping but... Math Re-Test on Friday, kinda worried as well. Felt like I'm getting a burnout, as Donald's friend said.
But still, no matter. I've gotta stay strong for You, to Shine with Your power. And I know You'll help me through it all.
Isaiah 41:10
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
jumping into Your arms
dear Lord, I want to tell you Lord, that You are really my Saviour. I was actually feeling rather tired and low today, but it was in Your church that I felt refreshed. There was a sense of completeness and peace within right after, which really made me forget about my horrible mood in the morning.
Today I talked to my shepherd about the Fruits of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and
Self-Control. And I told him that I want to grow in Self-Control, to not let my emotions get the better of me. It'll be hard, but I'll persevere. All for the sake of my Saviour. Jesus, my salvation.
How I long to jump into Your arms, with faith and love.
whining
dear Lord, this few days have been rather tough. Events, emotions, etc with big impacts. I'm quite tired for some reason, quite sick of getting a lot of other people's responsibility to take. Lies in the form of excuses, distraction of a million sorts. Well I'm definitely not taking all this willingly. I mean, who likes doing extra work right? But I'll take it JOYFULLY, because God must have planned something for me, for me to do His work.
Jesus didn't want to die either. Matthew 26:39, "... My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me, Yet not as I will, but as you will." Similarly, I too wished that I need not receive all the things I did not like. But Jesus, although he didn't want to, still died in the end to fulfill the Scripture. Matthew 26:42, "... My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken way unless I drink it, may your will be done." So I too, will stop whining and just go through anything that God wants me to go through.
picking up the pieces
Got all of my CT results back. Not so great, not even acceptable I felt. Well this is something one of the teachers said to the whole level when we get back one of our papers. "Your results are the summation of all your efforts." which I felt was really true after I thought about it. I wasn't paying much attention to my studies before the holidays. And only in the last ten days of CTs that I really tried to absorb as much as possible, which was of course not effective.
I've got to get much better grades to convince my family about it, about God. Thus I'm really going to work hard all for His sake. I think it's going to be really difficult, considering the amount of work I'm lagging behind with? But hey, I really want to thank God for putting this person in my life who is so much better at Maths than me and is okay with being my peer tutor. I'll really make the effort to pull up my marks much higher. I'll make Him my motivation.
John 15:5
"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit;
apart from me you can do nothing."
And that's how real You are to me.
giving
Proverbs 11:25
"A generous man will prosper, he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."
One verse I really like. Everyone of us helps people or are helped by someone everyday of our life (unless that person is in social recluse). Sometimes, I tend to not help people for the fact that it's inconvenient, troublesome, tiring, many many reasons in the dictionary. Yet, Jesus never complained how tiring it was for him to rid people of diseases and demons, grant the blind sight, let the lame walk and so much more. He didn't receive much in return, usually nothing at all but a gesture of thanks, which is enough for Him. And I felt irritated to have to get out of my room to open the door for my family members, and sometimes even more so when my efforts were ignored.
Lord, I pray that I could be like you, and I will try my hardest to serve people as You did. I won't be tired, because for every one I gave my all for, I'll receive something in return too. Which is to big more like You.
count on You
HBL! And I've got an event tomorrow. Don't think I'll be able to really finish everything. So I'll count on You God.
I pray for the endurance that'll last me.
still here I am
Yesterday had a quite powerful lesson. Yea, I realised that even then till yesterday, I still couldn't let go of something. Something that's really coming between me and God. And so I'm really gonna do something about it. I will let THAT go, a more-than-4-years-long something. It's gonna be really tough, as this something is the world to me. But God, my universe, my everything, will be there for me, and I'll definitely be able to let it go with His help. I'll stop pacing to and fro.
So Lord speak to me, I pray.
for the weary and burdened
Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest..."
Barely half an hour ago, I was feeling quite stressed with much stuffs. Fear, insecure of my new role in YEC and of losing my faith about something that doesn't seem to bright. Feel kinda, alone and such. Felt kinda cramped, weary and tired. But this passage is probably God's reminder that He is always there for me, that He cares and that I can always find solace in Him. I felt assured and kinda secured right now. He's watching me over me and know what I need.
Always my pillar of support. That's my God, the one and only.
expected expectations?
I think it's really unfair how some people are expected to meet some kinda expectations for something they didn't ask for. Like, other people tend to think that someone should "at least do this for me" that kind of notion, it's quite crap actually. Of course, nothing's wrong with it when the expectation can be fulfilled really often without fail. But what if it's not met? Do people actually expect anyone to meet every single expectation others made of them? Well, I can't do that too, nor do I expect anyone to do it.
Then why am I being unfair to you? Why am I expecting so much out of you. Bla and for that I'm super sorry, I won't set any expectations of you anymore, then whatever you do will exceed expectations already! So I'll treasure you more. Let's be good friends in and out, holding no expectations of each other.
p.s. I hope that's what you want out of our friendship. And I sincerely mean my apology. It's a real nasty habit, I know ><
nostalgy (edited)
Actually felt like posting another song lyrics, but that'll be too long. The other song's title is "Where'd you go" by Fort Minor.
oneway's stuck. Idk why am I suddenly thinking about this, but it's quite annoying. Nostalgy makes me go GRR-rah! I don't know what about you makes me addicted to, and what about you shakes my faith about you, but if you ask me, "what would Jesus do?", He'll definitely keep that faith about you. And so me too, will stop shaking my faith about you.
And anyway, someone I asked whether others have this problem too said "haha sure got one lah." So I'm concerned, maybe worried, probably screwed. But yea I shall compartmentalize,
And fill it up with faith in you and my most faithful God!
- why'd you think that way. gosh!
my exact feeling right now
Addicted - Simple Plan
I heard you're doin' okay
But I want you to know
I'm addic-
I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't careWhen you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?
I try to make you happy
But you left anyway
I'm tryin' to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never
Want to do this again
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
Still addic-
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's trueI'd run a thousand miles to get to you
Do you think I deserve this
I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to treat you good in every way
I'm tryin' to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never
Want to do this again
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
How long will I be waitingTill the end of timeI don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine
I'm trying to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you
I'm trying to forget
But I'm addicted to you
But I wanted
And I needed
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never
Want to do this again
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
Heartbreaker
sparks
Gotta start working on the areas I wanna shine in. A little effort each day goes a long way. The spark to create the light. MUG GUITAR!
God-colour: faith
Ever since I started my walk with God, and till now, there's one thing I really learnt the meaning to, and that is faith. Definition of "faith" is simply 3 words, belief without proof. (the proof here refers to like evidence on paper or artifacts or the sort)
For me, my faith first comes from God. I don't need proof to know that He exist. I just do, and I can verify it in my own way too. Similarly, this faith was so strong, that it led me to harbour hope for other situations too. Situations I know, would just fade if I don't even believe that it'll turn out fine.
I feel that faith is the most important thing in the world. The assumptions and confidence that comes along with faith is totally irreplaceable by anything. I think with faith, I finally see my life as complete and not lacking. I'm thankful to God that I found Him and by doing so it. So I'm just going to continue,
Led by faith in God to have faith in everything else.
Grace
Oh today, oneway finally found the reason for the sudden apperance of many Grace in his life. There's at first just Grace Fong, but this year there is also Grace Chen, Grace Tan, and Grace Chan real recently.
Answer:
Cuz I always forget to, it's God's way of telling me to before eating, say GRACE!
mugs
ah been looking for and at pilates for the past 2 hours plus and didn't really come to anything. Time to start mug, there's CHEM tomorrow.
I'm gonna get a B at least. Gonna be UNSTOPPABLE!
The Greater Power
2 Chronicles 32:1-8, 16-22
During one of the QT, the lesson was about how God helped us through our toughest times just like that. OF course, we did prepare and stuffs, but ultimately it was due to God's strength that it was overcame.
Well now is the exam period. Unlike Hezekiah, I didn't really prepare sufficiently, but I think I'll be alright as long as I do study as much as I can at the moment. As long as I don't lose faith and give up studying, should be alright luh.
And the other thing is that I learnt that God is the wisest, so He'll know what's best to do. So I'll consult Him about it, especially crossroads. The one I'm in right now =/
